I thought I was different

“For me, it’s different” is a phrase everyone has said at some point in their life, but some people… some people mean it on a whole different level.

For those people, when their friends scoff and brush them off, they become determined and say things like, “I know most people think that for them it’s different.  They’re totally wrong.  But I can see past that.  I get it.  I understand the reasons they think they’re different, and I know that they really do believe it, but I see exactly why they’re wrong.  They’re not different.  For me–trust–it really is different.  For me, it’s a whole other thing.”

These are the people that so believe that they’re different that they’re even willing to pick on the other people who think they’re the ones that are different.  And you know what the strange part is?  They’re not wrong.  They are different.  Now…

I was one of those people.

I was the one exception to the rule, and I was god damn right.

And so was everyone else who ever said it.  Because when they said it, it was true.  The problem is, none of the things we believe in life are worth shit if the people we base those beliefs on are subject to change, which they are.  No one is immune to change.

When people tell you things, they mean them.  People tell you things when they’re just as lost in the “I’m different” world as you are.  And if the world were to end right after they told you those things, all would be right, because they would be the truth.  But people’s ideas change as they live their lives, and the things they once told you start to seem foreign, because they’re not so true anymore.  And all the things you believed that were based on those outdated truths begin to fall apart.

I can’t place blame on anyone because I’m not immune to change myself.

In fact, my own changes likely had a lot to do with the reason that I am now having to come to terms with the fact that my situation is not so “different” after all.  It was at one point, but now it’s not.  That’s hard for me to deal with.  It doesn’t hurt any less.  But at least now that I know I’m no different from everyone else who ever thought they were, I know I’m not the first person to feel as relentlessly shitty as I do right now.

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